Food that only tastes great when your drunk!
It’s the end of a long session and you are very worse for wear as you make your way to the taxi rank, but it doesn’t seem to be getting any closer due to the fact you are zig-zagging across the pavement and not really making much progress. Suddenly you spot a bright light and stagger towards it, the pizza/kebab/burger van.
Now in ordinary circumstances you wouldn’t go within a mile of these little shacks operated by someone wearing an apron of an indeterminable colour, but after a few too many they seem heaven sent. Obviously you buy enough to feed 3 people as the munchies are kicking in big style, and you eat half before you get into your taxi and half when you get home. I say eat, in reality, most will have been dropped, but there will still be enough to both satisfy your hunger and to be attached to your hair when you wake up.
Now I know all food looks grotty in the morning when it’s cold and greasy, but the stuff from these is absolutely rank, and your mouth tastes as if you have gargled with burnt onion mouthwash. The sad fact is that after a good drinking session, we don’t give a stuff what we eat. Anything will do; and these places pray on the fact that you are too far gone to realise how bad their fare actually is. Now not all burger vans are like this, and there are some very good ones, but the ones hanging around at 4am are generally not that great. Even after vigorous cleaning with industrial strength toothpaste and our ultra powerful electric toothbrush, the greasy coating in still there, and the sad fact is we’ll do exactly the same next time!